"July 30th. A day like any other hot summer Texas day. But it was an
extraordinary ordinary day. Up and showered and out for work for him. A
shopping day for me. The sun was incredibly bright, the temperatures
sickeningly hot. A phone call or two. Some texts back and forth. Shoes in the
foyer, coffee mug in the sink, book and reading glasses on the nightstand, ball
cap on the end table.
Ordinary. Extraordinary. Life doesn't usually go just the way we plan
it. God has other ideas. I always knew that, but never more than I have in the
past four years. I always trusted God to guide my life but I never truly
surrendered to Him until that July day when David died.
I was unable to go forward on my own. I was unable to go forward until
God picked me up and carried me. And because He is loving and merciful He
carried me for months and months on end. Life here changed forever. I had to
accept that. I had to adjust to so many things. Some in the light of my every
day. Some in the darkest hours of the night when it was just me and God, and
breathing was praying and praying was surviving.
And I did survive. And I knew God in a way I had never known Him before.
He became my partner. He became my lifeline. He was my Savior in every way. And
I couldn't imagine how anyone managed to handle the terrible things this fallen
world can throw at them without God in their life. And I am grateful. I grew
stronger. I grew braver. I learned how to live again and laugh again and hope
again.
Four years ago today I believed losing my husband of 30 years was not
survivable but God proved me wrong. I am here. Bruised and battered, but I am
here and life is good. I am a blessed child of a loving and compassionate God
who is light amidst darkness, joy amidst sorrow, hope amidst despair.
Do you know the God I know? I hope so. If not, ask me about Him. And for
those of you who have been on this journey with me, thru grieving David and
then my mother: thank you. Thank you for your support, your friendship, your
prayers and your love. Thank you for dinners and lunches and phone calls and
hugs. Thank you for listening, talking, crying with me and laughing with me.
Thank you for coming to my rescue if I called for help with everything from
flat tires to lizards to plumbing to a snake in my living room. I am humbled by
all of you. My cup runneth over. With love and complete gratitude from every
corner of my heart.... Kim"
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