"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." -Ephesians 4
"Just as God...."
We aren't challenged to big things by God without his leadership showing us how to do it. In Christ we have the example we are called to imitate, the model for our lives. Paul challenges us to kindness, compassion, and forgiveness of others not because they deserve it or are good enough, but simply because it's what God has done in Christ.
The call has nothing to do with the performance of the one we are called to love, to forgive, to extend kindness to....it has everything to do with imitating Christ. The truth is that most of the people around us will let us down. If our kindness, love and forgiveness was based on their deservedness no one would have it, but it's based on the model of Christ....loving the unlovable, being kind to those who hated him, forgiving those who crucified him.
We are called to look at Christ as our example and not the person we are to love, forgive or be kind to....honestly it has to be done as a decision of the will apart for any worth on their part...the very same way Christ loves us!
He is the model for a life of compassion and forgiveness that changes the other person. When others experience the love of God through us, even if they have done nothing to deserve it, they are changed....and isn't that what God is all about....loving the unlovable, forgiving the offender, being kind to people who don't deserve it?