I can't believe it, but I did it again!
This morning, coming into the church, I was listening to a sermon on the radio. It was a great message about the testimony of a Christian man living with a handicap. Suddenly I thought, "I can't believe it, but I did it again!"
What's funny is that my thoughts had nothing to do directly with the message I was listening to, but the message and the Holy Spirit directed my thoughts towards what I had done....
You're asking, aren't you, what did he do?
First, let me tell you that this last year has been extremely difficult. We have been in spiritual warfare in ways I have never experienced before, but in all of it we have seen God work in amazing ways. For this last year I have been busy serving, caring, teaching, praying, herding, advising, loving, grieving....it's been spiritually and emotionally intense and draining.
So, what did I do? I lost my focus. I got so busy serving God I forgot that what God wants is a relationship with me. He wants a son, and I've been acting like a servant. I can't believe I did it again! So now, like a dear friend of mine from the old testament, I have to change my focus once more. Here's what my friend had to do:
2Ch 20:3 Jehoshaphat was afraid and turned his attention to seek the LORD, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah.
I know most of you probably never struggle with this, but it's a constant battle for me....to keep my focus on God's face and not his hands. To pursue a relationship not simply try to serve him.
Once more I adjust my focus, once more I must turn my attention to see the Lord as David did in Psalms:
Psa 27:8 When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek."
Psa 27:9 Do not hide Your face from me, Do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; Do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation!
Psa 27:9 Do not hide Your face from me, Do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; Do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation!
God is so good to patiently wait for me. I find myself busy serving him, and what he wants is for me to stop, sit down, and spend time with him. So, once again, I find myself acting like his servant instead of his son. Sorry Lord, I know it will happen again, but for now I will stop.....rest....and spend time with you. As David prayed, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek."
4 comments:
I totally get this post. I do the same thing. I know I haven't been under the stress you have been under, but I still understand.
Thanks for these very honest words!
I think it must be even more difficult for someone in the ministry to remember the relationship when it is also your job. There are tasks that have to be done. There are people that need to be served. I guess the focus has to be on remembering you are doing it for Him and not just doing it because it was "assigned" to you. Tough line. While you may have lost your focus, you still were a very effective servant. Now, take a break and rejoice in the relationship. Drink in the living water and be refreshed by it.
After reading your article, I think I have also lost my focus with God lately. There is a need to seek the compass that God has given me and refocus my direction toward His shining light.
Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Alf
Hey Mike!
I don't have anything intelligent to say other than I COMPLETELY understand, (and have been struggling with) this EXACT...situation myself lately.
Nice blog.
Tyler
It's a boy. :)
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