A fellow pastor, Denis in Ireland, posted this list. I loved it, and asked if I could share it with you. Denis graciously gave me permission, so here is his top 10 list:
10 Things You Never Hear in Church-
1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
Great list, isn't it? It would be fun to add to the list. If you were to come up with your own entries for our list what would you add? Have fun....
5 comments:
Hey, I like the front row. Was that supposed to be funny???
11. "There doesn't seem to be enough energy coming out of the youth ministry room. Could they turn the music up and be a little less reserved in their worship?"
We think the pastor's wife needs some encouragement. Here's a 500.00 gift certificate to her favorite clothes store.
10. A Friday evening service wouldn’t conflict with high school football.*
9. No, he really was our youth pastor.*
8. Putting football pre-game shows on the big screens wouldn’t be distracting.*
7. Do you get cheese with the juice and crackers?*
6. Hey did you read Pastor Dave’s blog today.*
5. Did you check the odds board in the dungeon on who gives this Sunday’s sermon?*
4. We’ll have a better parking spot if we go to the 10:45 service; since the Cowboys are playing at 12.*
3. Seriously, he really was our youth pastor.*
2. It’s not that hot; we can get by without air conditioning.*
1. What’s a search committee?*
*Disclaimer - The purpose of this list was in humor and humorous to me at the time I wrote it and posted it to Mike’s blog; you may not find this humorous, but that is your choice for which you are responsible for; it was not intended to be offensive to anyone who read it or didn’t read it; this includes but is not limited to:
anyone who played, plays or aspires to play high school football and/or anyone who likes or dislikes high school football;
anyone who was, is or aspires to become a youth pastor and/or anyone who likes or dislikes youth pastors;
anyone who watches or doesn’t watch football pre-game shows and/or anyone that watches these programs on a big screen or not;
anyone that likes or dislikes cheese and/or anyone that enjoys cheese with juice and/or crackers or not;
anyone that was,is or aspires to be a Pastor and/or your first name was,is or is changing to Dave;
anyone that is for or against gambling in any form or fashion;
anyone that attends the 10:45 service or any other service and/or anyone that is a Cowboys fan or not;
again, anyone who was, is or aspires to become a youth pastor and/or anyone who likes or dislikes youth pastors;
anyone who likes or doesn’t like heat and/or air conditioning;
anyone who has served, serving or aspires to serve on a search committee and/or anyone who likes or dislikes search committees.
Have a blessed day,
Bob
11. I think all the pastors should have long hair.
12. Those tiny shot glasses could use a little salt on the rim.
13. Lets have outside services in August.
SM
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