"July 30th. A day like any other hot summer Texas day. But it was an extraordinary ordinary day. Up and showered and out for work for him. A shopping day for me. The sun was incredibly bright, the temperatures sickeningly hot. A phone call or two. Some texts back and forth. Shoes in the foyer, coffee mug in the sink, book and reading glasses on the nightstand, ball cap on the end table.
Ordinary. Extraordinary. Life doesn't usually go just the way we plan it. God has other ideas. I always knew that, but never more than I have in the past four years. I always trusted God to guide my life but I never truly surrendered to Him until that July day when David died.
I was unable to go forward on my own. I was unable to go forward until God picked me up and carried me. And because He is loving and merciful He carried me for months and months on end. Life here changed forever. I had to accept that. I had to adjust to so many things. Some in the light of my every day. Some in the darkest hours of the night when it was just me and God, and breathing was praying and praying was surviving.
And I did survive. And I knew God in a way I had never known Him before. He became my partner. He became my lifeline. He was my Savior in every way. And I couldn't imagine how anyone managed to handle the terrible things this fallen world can throw at them without God in their life. And I am grateful. I grew stronger. I grew braver. I learned how to live again and laugh again and hope again.
Four years ago today I believed losing my husband of 30 years was not survivable but God proved me wrong. I am here. Bruised and battered, but I am here and life is good. I am a blessed child of a loving and compassionate God who is light amidst darkness, joy amidst sorrow, hope amidst despair.
Do you know the God I know? I hope so. If not, ask me about Him. And for those of you who have been on this journey with me, thru grieving David and then my mother: thank you. Thank you for your support, your friendship, your prayers and your love. Thank you for dinners and lunches and phone calls and hugs. Thank you for listening, talking, crying with me and laughing with me. Thank you for coming to my rescue if I called for help with everything from flat tires to lizards to plumbing to a snake in my living room. I am humbled by all of you. My cup runneth over. With love and complete gratitude from every corner of my heart.... Kim"