Thursday, February 04, 2010

The cost of cursing



There are results from the words we say. The results are not always in the responses we get, but are also the impact those words have on us, on our bodies, our mind and heart.

The words we say impact US. Here's a passage in Psalms that has fascinated me for a long time. Watch how the author describes the results of words in this person's life,

Psalm 109:18 He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil.

The words we say impact not just the one spoken to, but they impact us as well. They change us, they mold us. Those words we use to hurt someone else actually hurt US. They enter US and transform us. The words we use go from a garment we wear to part of us and ultimately transform us into an angry and bitter person. Our words affect us.

In the same way kind words accomplish the same things. When you meet a kind person it's an intentional choice on their part to BE kind and to speak kind words. From those words, that garment they wear, they begin to change...they begin to become kind to their very bones. Their kindness becomes part of who they are. The choice is intentional, but the results are inevitable. Your words do two things- they affect other people and they change YOU.

Decide now what kind of person you want to be and choose to use those kind of words. It makes a difference because the words you use mold you into the person you will be. The cost of cursing is high. It doesn't just hurt someone else, it hurts you as well. The cost of blessing is equally high, but much more rewarding. Often it's hard to bless, to encourage, to say words that build up, but when you do those words mold you and become part of who you are.

Don't ever believe that your words only go out and touch others....they change you too. Decide now what kind of person you want to be in the years ahead and use words that communicate that because your words affect you most of all.

4 comments:

Diane said...

Can't wait to share this with my oldest son. He really struggles with the cursing amoung middle schoolers and in the books,games geared toward teens. Believe it or not, my 9 year old deals with the same thing just to a lesser degree. Wonder what it will be like when they are raising their kids?

Mike Messerli said...

I did hear a funny story today about a pastor playing golf. He was having a great day and all he needed was a short putt to have a great game. He missed the putt and said, "Now is a time when I wish I had a designated curser."

Whateverman said...

Mike, you wrote this: Those words we use to hurt someone else actually hurt US.

It seems to me you have a limited view of cursing. Whether right or wrong, curse words can emphasize a point, rather than be intended to insult or hurt another person.

Is it wrong to curse like this?

IE. "Your blog is f___king great!"

Sorry, I don't mean to be intentionally offensive. I really am curious about this notion that cursing is wrong or bad by default. I try to avoid hurting people verbally, but beyond that, can words themselves be "bad", no matter what context they're expressed in?

Mike Messerli said...

Whatever,

My comments are a contemporary attempt at a commentary on the verse I referenced. The point of the verse was to explain that cursing someone else does you more harm than it does the person you have cursed because it changes you. It permeates you and changes you and affects you negatively.

To your comment on the f--- word- it's unfortunate that our culture has found one word, used for every form of speech we have, that is the new lazy way to explain and emphasize our points without having to really use words. Sadly the culture of our day only uses a total of 800 words, but there are thousands of words to choose from. To your illustration- I think anyone who uses the f--- word is showing their inability or unwillingness to use other words to say what they want to say. Or, as is often the case, they are showing off and using the f--- word instead of an exclamation point.

Finally, you asked, "can words themselves be "bad", no matter what context they're expressed in?"
That's a great question. I really don't think words have good or bad character in and of themselves, but, as Jesus said, words reveal what is in our hearts and the words we use are often what reveal us to others and hurt both them and us. My point in the post was to say that words do have meaning and when used to hurt someone else or curse them, they can do us more damage than they do to the person they were directed towards.

Well thought out discussion. Thanks.