Verses to struggle over

Often, as I read the Bible, I come to passages that cause me problems.  Statements made that challenge me, make me struggle.  Here is one that has haunted me for decades,

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  Phil. 1:21

As I read Paul's words it's clear he has a level of understanding, a relationship with God that I have yet to achieve.  Yes, like Paul, I want my life to be all about Christ, but it's not.  I get busy and forget about him.  Sorry, but I really do.  Here I am, doing "God's work" and so busy about it that I forget about him.  I'm not sure how in the world I can do that, but I must be honest....it happens often.

What does it look like to say and live out, "For me to live is Christ"?  This is what has bothered me, challenges me and caused struggles for me for decades.  I want to walk with him, and for a few minutes at a time I find I can, but then the world attacks and I forget, I get busy and off I go..."serving God".

For a long time I told people this was my life verse, but as I grew in faith it soon became clear I had no idea what it meant. For me to live is Christ....those words challenge me, convict me and leave me without words.

I hope, one day before I'm done with this life, I will understand just a bit of what Paul means when he says, "For me to live is Christ."  I long for that, want that, desire that to be true in me, but I know that I don't even understand what that means yet.

And never mind the rest of the verse....to die is gain!  That will be another visit.