Thursday, September 26, 2013
Waiting for his voice
As I sit here and think, pray, meditate on my life and what is swirling around me there are some basic and simple things that always come up.
Each day, each moment, no matter what is happening...I have to trust God. There is little in my life I can really handle on my own. My life is one that is dependent upon the God who made me. I am NOT an island...nor do I want to be.
There are times...like now...when I come to God for direction, for help, for answers and all I hear is silence. As a human I resent that. I want God to "jump to!" and answer my prayers, speak to me, make something happen! But when all I get is silence I have one of two things I can do, 1. I can get mad and stomp away in frustration. That accomplishes nothing! or, 2. I can sit quietly and wait, trust, calm my anxious heart and be still....it is the hardest thing any human ever does, but one of the most important...to wait on God is vital for my walk with him.
And, as I sit here praying in the silence of God's voice I realize a few other things....God is calming me in the silence, calming my restless mind and heart. He's dealing with my chaos so he can work. For some reason I often treat him as an order taker who should deliver my "products" faster than Amazon....instead of relating to him as the God I worship. He takes me to these times, these places on purpose, so I can see HIS glory, listen for his voice. It's only when I sit still that his still small voice can be heard over the roar of my world.
I live in a world of chaos, God wants me to rest in a world of calm. The transition is difficult. The silence is painful. But oh how I want to sit here...in the silence...until I hear him speak.
Lord, speak...your servant is really trying to listen....