I got a great e-mail from a good friend of mine today. He was very encouraging, but also directive in his wisdom. He was kind, but did share that he's looking forward to the "old me" blogging again. I do understand his thoughts. One thing I have noticed is that when a person has a problem be it physical, financial or personal, they become the center of their known universe. I know I have done that in my own life through this injury and recovery. My whole focus has been on ME.
I know that's entirely normal, but what I have lost, very honestly, is some of my passion for God. Don't get me wrong I still love the Lord, read the word each day, pray and care about people, but I have lost that spark, that passion for my walk with God. It slips away so easily...something happens in our lives and suddenly everything is about ME. Quietly, subtly my love for God and my passion for him fades. My focus is on me and my problems. I know that has shown in my writing because I know it shows in my life. I do know what I have lost and will get it back, but through this time my focus has been on ME, not God. It shouldn't be that way, but like Peter I let the winds distract me and I took my eyes off the Lord....and began to sink.
I watch this same thing in others as they go through crisis. It may be cancer, financial problems, job loss, it really doesn't matter what it is, but when my focus moves from my relationship with God to my needs, wants or fears then something slips away. Like the nation of Israel in the wilderness we focus our attention on our need for water and miss completely the God who is there. I think this is a dilemma we all share.
Recapturing the passion, reigniting my relationship with God is most important. In fact I know that God wants it more than I do, so it's not far from me. It's moving from me being the center of my universe to once again making HIM the center of the universe. The bible is full of stories of both men and women working through this same struggle. I'm not the first, and won't be the last. It's part of our walk with God. I will again see his face and rest in his fellowship.
I'm working on it even now......
5 comments:
Welcome back gifted and saged author, I see you did not even make it a week in a dry spell. Your Muse is truely the Holy Sprit. I am refreshed in the foutain of the living waters that flow from your keyboard.
I am thankful for you honest walk on this blogspot - a place of our journaling our thoughts. I find that being real is an incredibly refreshing place to be. God wants real. He is very clear to not be puffed up - he doesn't want fake. But, he isn't worried about us when we are struggling. He doesn't let go of our hand. And we can struggle, kick and scream, but He will hold on and never let go. I love that about God. I also know that those times are fewer and farther between the more I get to know Him in His loving kindness and graciousness.
PS
enjoyed the conversation - looking forward to a chat over coffee when I come home. May God bless you and Joye in your walk with Him. give her a hug from me.
Refreshing. Thanks for your words of wisdom that I can relate to.
Praying for you, brother.
thank you for this - spot on and encouraged me -
yours from Scotland
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