Little words

Jas 3:5 A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything--or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire.

I must tell you the story about Wilbur. Wilbur and his family were members of a church I pastored in Oklahoma. It was my second pastorate. I was young, but I already knew well how to build churches. Wilbur and his family lived near the church, and I met him as I went door to door talking to people about faith. Wilbur, his wife and their three boys became active members of our church family.

But Wilbur was “odd”. Now, you may ask what I mean by that and I would tell you that it’s hard to explain. Wilbur was partially handicapped, so he was on disability and couldn’t work. With his time he developed a number of hobbies. He was a great guy, a wonderful husband and very involved in his son’s lives. But Wilbur was “odd”.

One day I took Wilbur out for lunch. We spent the time over food talking about faith, life and family. We always had a great time together. On the way back to the church after lunch we passed a business that really bothered me….you see I pastored the Tulsa Friends Church. It was a part of the Quaker community. But right down the street from our church someone had built a bar and named it “The Friendly Tavern”. Now, that may seem like a small annoyance to most, but it was even worse than that…it was a topless bar! I felt that it was a personal slap in my face as the pastor of the Friends Church…that they were mocking me. And what was worse…I had to pass this place to get to my church.

On this day, as we drove by the bar, I made a passing comment without thinking. I said, “I sure wish that place wasn’t there.” That was all I said…and off we go, back to the church.

That night…that very night, the bar burned to the ground and was never rebuilt. Now I must tell you that I felt a sense of relief that this bar was gone. When the site was cleared it faded from my memory and I thought no more of it until…..

Years later Wilbur died. His sons called me and asked if I would come back to Tulsa to preach Wilbur’s funeral. Of course, I was honored. I have done hundreds of funerals in my life for friends and family members, but this one is my most memorable…because at this funeral I learned a very important lesson.

On the day of the funeral I went to Wilbur’s home to meet with the family and his sons. Wilbur’s wife had died a few years earlier, and I had the honor of speaking at her funeral as well, now I was looking forward to seeing Wilbur’s boys. We had a good visit, but they wanted to take me aside to talk for a minute, so we went into the bedroom, shut the door, and then I heard something I never expected. The older son said, “Dad wanted us to be sure to tell you, after he died, that he took care of that bar for you.”

I was speechless! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My little thoughtless comment had motivated Wilbur to torch a bar to satisfy my wishes? Yes, according to the boys, this was true. I was overwhelmed with thoughts of all the lives I had affected by one thoughtless comment in the car…how those little words had changed lives.

I don’t remember anything I said at the funeral, but I remember what the boys told me, “Dad wanted us to be sure to tell you that he took care of that bar for you.”

Little words…what a flame they can start. Now you surely think I have made this story up. Most people who hear it say, “Did that really happen?” And, embarrassed, I must tell you that it really did.

So let me offer to you a modern day, real life parable for these verses we began with in James, “A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything--or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire” (or a bar fire).