Do what?

It strikes me that some of the things that Jesus said are just as hard for us as they were for the first ones who heard his words. It strikes me that most of us will have a difficult time with the words I'm about to quote. I have to admit they are words that have been bouncing around in my head for days. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with them, what they mean for my life, how I should respond.

Here are Jesus' words,

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me."

The part of this passage that has been working on me is this, "he must deny himself." I'm not sure what that means entirely. I know theologically and I can tell you all about it, but when all the theology is on the table what does it mean that I deny myself? Deny myself of what exactly? It seems to me, as I work through this, that it's all about setting my wishes aside in favor of his. This whole idea is not a popular one in a culture where everyone you meet lives by the motto, "Indulge yourself!" It's a me society and to live in a different way is not only foreign to us, but difficult to sort out. What do I deny? How do I do it? Am I to be an ascetic? Do I sell everything and live in a tent?

The whole discussion about denying myself makes us feel uncomfortable, because comfort is what we are all about. The very idea that I might have to give some of that up, whatever that might look like, is uncomfortable for us.

I don't have all the answers, but bouncing around in my head are these words, "deny yourself." I'll let you know what that looks like when God is done with me.