In the last week our family has been praying for something very specific....
....it didn't happen.
Now comes the normal responses of all of us as we seek to know what God is doing...
I prayed, why didn't he answer?
This was really important to me, how could he not do it?
Is there really a God at all if he doesn't answer prayers like this?
How can I trust him when he knew how important this was?
Why pray at all if he doesn't answer anyway?
I'm sure you could add a dozen other questions to this list that you have asked as the plans and prayers you hoped for didn't come true, didn't materialize.
What is God doing? What's his plans for us? How do we navigate this topic of prayer when often the things we ask for are very important to us? Now what? Can we trust him? Should I even pray for things again since he didn't answer this prayer? Doesn't he know how important this was to me?
The emotions of unanswered prayer are intense. The hoped for expectations that are crushed by a prayer unanswered are confusing. Now what? Where do we go from here?
There are often no words for the emotions that follow an unanswered prayer. For me, after many years of knowing God, I realized that often my dreams and visions are not the best thing for me...and so I trust God for his plans, his directions....but it's hard, isn't it? It's hard when we asked, we wanted, we hoped...and he replies with silence. Is he there at all? Is he, as many say, the God of the deist...making it all and then walking away? Unanswered prayers make us ask those questions...especially when he has invited us to ask!
The bottom line for all of this is simply this- God loves us. God is sovereign and his love, his plans, and his wisdom direct our lives for his glory and our good. It doesn't mean we always get what we want...and that confuses us because we "know" that what we want is the very best thing....if only God would give us what we prayed for.
But often he doesn't. Now what?
Solomon wrote these words,
"The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."
When God says "no" I come back to this...
God loves me,
He has my best in mind,
He has a plan for my life,
and he's sovereign.
I can trust him to accomplish the best for me.....even when he says "no".
God loves me,
He has my best in mind,
He has a plan for my life,
and he's sovereign.
I can trust him to accomplish the best for me.....even when he says "no".
In moments like this, when I don't understand his "no" I go back to the verses that direct me when I don't have answers...the verses that calm my confused and disheartened mind,
"Trust in the Lord with
all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all
your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
I wept while reading this again. Which of us who trust and belong to Him does not identify with this? I have so many thoughts and emotions about God and this topic. Hearing and being heard; seeing and being seen; loving and being loved.
ReplyDelete+ I Know that He exists. *(support)
+ I Know that He knows me. *(support)
+ I Know that He loves me. *(support)
+ I Know that He always hears me. *(support)
+ I Know that He always sees me. *(support)
*(support) == many verses, faith, personal/others experience, logic, etc.
Now I'm thinking of England and the Queen's palace guards. One can tease, turn cartwheels, make faces, dance right in front of them, and they will remain unchanged, stalwart. It's not a perfect analogy but like the guard, God is that close when I fervently, passionately make my request(s). He sees, hears, understands and that's what makes the silence so painful. Beyond the analogy, He loves and can respond to me. Given the reality of that proximity, when prayers of such great importance go unanswered, pain and sometimes rejection rush in. Am I really the one for whom you died? Like a child, I often assume some thing or some behavior or response was wrong with me, resulting in the final outcome. I get deceived like that
Teasing palace guards
I have journals of words on this and so sparing space here. I have learned that God's silence, unanswers, or 'no' answers ultimately represent an invitation to draw closer. After all, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.". I am compelled to move in closer. "Then, what are you doing?" ; "I need you" ; "This is my heart, my loss, my.." ; "what are u doing", "why are you allowign this".
Thank you for proverbs 3 and doing this verse(others) make all the difference. Neither self coping, time, abandoning God, etc. will heal pain, false sense of rejection, or reverse the outcome for which we were praying. There is only one option -- move in closer to listen, talk, worship, be. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him..."
I always appreciate your blogs,
SS
In 2001, at the age of 50 I asked God for a baby. We had 3 older adopted children that we adopted when the youngest was 2 1/2. By the time I turned 51, not only did God give us a 3 month old baby, but 4 older siblings as well. They were 2, 5, 6, and 13. To say we were blessed was an understatement.
ReplyDeleteWe had to wait 4 years to finalize the adoption, which for a long time, I never understood. God just didn't seem to answer our prayers. But on Thanksgiving Day of 2005, our precious baby, Ashley, was diagnosed with cancer. I prayed and prayed and prayed.
I did come to realize that the reason the Lord had not answered my prayer to finalize the adoption was because He knew she was going to have cancer, and that we would need the financial help that came by them still being foster children. They paid for 24 hour care for her when we decided to stop the chemo because it wasn't working anymore.
Again, I prayed and prayed and prayed and hundreds of other people were praying for her healing.
Finally, on May 24, 2006, we adopted 4 of the 5 children. And on May 26, 2006, Ashley died.
Was I angry at God? You bet! Did I think I would ever pray again? I was never going to pray again. Did I understand Him giving me a baby (answering a prayer) and then taking my baby (an unanswered prayer or so I thought).
I have been privileged and blessed to understand His giving and taking. He gave me the wonderful story of Joseph. He helped me see that what we consider tragedies are actually beautifully orchestrated moments of time.
The change that has occurred in my life because He didn't answer our prayers has been remarkable. The changes in our children's lives and the compassionate, wonderful children they have become has been a blessing.
We may not completely understand, but the answer is coming. You will know why, and the work that is accomplished in you because of "unanswered" prayers will be worth the wait.
Praying for complete understanding and whatever heart change Jesus is trying to accomplish.
Sorry this is so long, but I had to share. Blessings.